Things bereaved parents don't want to hear in the first period of their loss

People may find it hard to express themselves about such a delicate situation, but we are 100% sure that bereaved parents don't want to hear these sentences. 

Society still puts a stigma on loss, especially on a loss of a child. Yes, it's true - people don't know how to behave or how to react. In this article, we will share some of the worst sentences anyone can tell to a bereaved parent.

1. "You have other children." When people asked my mom what is her favorite child among the 3 of us, she was confused. And that's for a reason. People usually ask which child you love the most. My mother answered: "You see, I have 10 fingers. But each one I cut, it hurts."

Bereaved parents who have recently lost a child definitely don't want to hear that they have other children - no, that's not comforting. 

It's also wrong to say to bereaved parents who don't have other children that they can make/have another baby. 

2. "It had to be that way". "God or universe" had a plan for your child. This is also very wrong on so many points. If a bereaved parent hears a sentence like this one, they'll think something is wrong with them and that they are guilty of the tragic event. They already feel guilty, don't put more salt in their wound. 

3. "The grief will pass with time". When someone says this to a bereaved parent, they are literally trying to say that their grief is not that bad and that it isn't such a burden. No, losing a child doesn't pass and people are never the same - ever again. Yes, it may get "easier" with time, but you're not the one to tell that because you don't have such an experience. 

4. "You must be strong". This is so wrong because they are probably already doing everything in their power to normally function on a daily basis. They don't want to be stronger than that - they want to get comfort, help, and understanding. 

5. "Maybe they have rescued themselves". Bereaved parents who had an ill child may hear this sentence as well. Don't think that this is okay to say - no matter how ill their child was, they were happy when it was alive. 

What to say instead?

Say you're sorry. Just say you're sorry. That's enough. Thank you. 

Offer some help. Offer some practical help - people often forget that bereaved parents find it hard to complete ordinary daily obligations. Go grocery shopping instead of them, cook lunch for them, and do some paperwork if needed. We appreciate that.  

*In this grieving process, you'll often feel lonely. This is a period of your life when your friends, family, and relatives will show their real faces.