If you know someone who has recently lost a child, try to avoid telling them these sentences
May-2024
If you are struggling with repeatable thoughts, know that you are not alone. We have already created a blog post about overthinking and shared some very useful tactics that can help you stop it and overcome it.
There are many strange, yet normal things you will experience as a bereaved parent. Some of those would even include asking your child for forgiveness or worrying about where your child is now and how they are feeling.
Repetitive thoughts that seem to hunt you are most common in the guilt phase of the grieving process, but they can definitely appear anytime. The guilt phase is usually tricky - here is what to know about it.
Some parents who have lost children claim that they experience the most repetitive thoughts at night when they can't sleep. Remember that we have also shared some useful tips related to insomnia and how to fight it - you can read more about it in this article.
Okay, now that we have shared some useful content with you, let's make a list of some of the most common repetitive thoughts bereaved parents experience. Those are:
1. Wondering if there was anything you could do differently. This will probably be ongoing, or at least after the first few years after a tragic event. Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we experience in life. Psychology claims that losing a child is actually the number one trauma anyone can handle. You will find yourself thinking about all those small things you now believe could make some changes. Inside yourself, you know that there probably wasn't anything you could do.
2. Thinking about the past and some random events. You will try to relive your together memories. This is not a problem, except when you start living in the past and from your memories. It is a great idea to keep memories of your beloved child alive, but don't try to escape reality while constantly living in the past.
3. Asking yourself if you got a punishment for life. There will be moments when you may start to believe that you even deserve such a punishment in your life. A lot of bereaved parents told me that they constantly thinking about all their past mistakes - even the smallest ones.
4. Wondering if others are better parents than you. Losing a child and experiencing such a traumatic event definitely affects our self-esteem. You may wonder if others have been better parents than you. These tips will help you to work on your self-esteem.
5. Comparing your grieving process to others'. Many claim that they thought others who have experienced the same event in their life acted more brave and were stronger. Never compare your grieving process to others' because no one truly knows what people are going through. Anyways, the grieving process isn't some linear thing. I have written the steps of the grieving process, but you must understand that it doesn't always have to go that way. It is fine to have your own journey.
Check out what are the signs that your mental health is getting worse. Obviously, not being able to stop or deal with repeatable thoughts is one of them.
