If you know someone who has recently lost a child, try to avoid telling them these sentences
May-2024
As you can see, the main purpose of this website is not only to help you understand the entire process of grieving and provide support when needed but also for you to understand that you're not lonely and alone in this process.
We want to break all those taboos and stigmas related to losing a child.
As a bereaved parent, you may encounter some strange, yet completely normal things and events such as:
1. Shock can cause you to react to the news in an unexpected manner. A lot of parents who have lost their children have talked with me about this, yet every single one of them thought something is completely odd with them and their reaction to loss. Once you've found out that your child has died, you had such a weird reaction and now when you think about it, you may even feel ashamed.
For example, some bereaved parents claim that they had such a shock that their first reaction was even laughing. That was your brain trying to stop you from getting hurt so much. Others continued doing what they were doing before hearing the news.
This is especially true for people whose child has died unexpectedly. I want to tell you one thing - there's no appropriate reaction to such shocking news.
2. Rude comments related to your looks and how you behave. Bereaved parents find it hard to complete even simple everyday tasks due to sadness. Such a burden is on your shoulders and in your heart that you may start neglecting your looks, the way you eat & sleep, and even your normal daily hygiene routine. Expect that many won't understand that and will probably comment on your looks, saying they are worried about you. We don't say they are not but believe there's a better way to tell you that.
3. Addiction problems. A lot of bereaved parents have talked with me about this too, but it's still a taboo topic. Be aware that you don't trigger some old addictions, such as taking alcohol or pills. Yes, asking for professional help is always great and we highly recommend you go to therapy when needed. You can get anti-depressants or something to calm you down. But the problem appears when you try to handle deep sadness in your own manner, drowning yourself in alcohol and drinking pills to calm down without a prescription.
Some bereaved parents have reported that they also started binge eating to fill the void, while others who have previously suffered from eating disorders such as anorexia stopped eating and lost a lot of weight which lead to poor immune systems and repeated infections of all sorts.
It would be best to create a healthy daily routine (we know how hard it is now) and follow it. It will also help you to stay on the right track and sometimes get rid of negative thoughts.
4. People acting like nothing happened. On this loss journey, you'll get very disappointed by the people who surround you. Maybe it's them, maybe it's not them - yes, life isn't fair. You'll see many people acting as if nothing happened, talking about their children's successes in front of you, or even asking you to parties and various celebrations.
It's okay to set your own limits - be open and tell them what you want and don't want, like, and don't like. Don't act like everything is okay and then suffer in silence.
5. Expressing yourself through art. Another thing that happens which I've noticed by hanging around with various bereaved parents. You'll have the urge to express yourself and your feelings. That will help you a lot. Some start writing poems about their feelings or for their children. Other paint or draw. Some even create memory jewelry.
For that purpose, we also have an art section on our website - feel free to explore it and take a look at my songs. You may become a part of it if you like, why not?
For parents who haven't gone through this tragedy and experience, it may be ridiculous to talk about such topics, but as a person with years of experience, I know that you want these things to be talked about more. Let's break the stigma together.
Take care.
